🧠 Stepping Out of Social Anxiety: Understanding Safety Behaviours
- Chris Zhang
- Nov 8, 2025
- 2 min read
Social anxiety often convinces us that the best way to feel safe is to avoid judgment or hide parts of ourselves. We might overprepare before speaking, avoid eye contact, or scroll on our phones to look occupied. These small actions—called safety behaviours—are ways we try to protect ourselves from feeling anxious in social situations. But over time, they can actually make anxiety stronger.
When we rely on these behaviours, we never get the chance to see that most people respond with kindness, or that we can manage discomfort without our usual “safety nets.”
Why Safety Behaviours Keep Anxiety Going
According to the Centre for Clinical Interventions (CCI), safety behaviours maintain the social anxiety cycle by keeping us focused inward—on how we look, sound, or come across—rather than engaging with others. This prevents new learning from happening.
For example, if someone avoids asking questions in a group because they fear sounding awkward, they miss the opportunity to experience success and to learn that others are usually supportive. The brain then “relearns” that social situations are dangerous, reinforcing avoidance and fear.
Taking Small Steps Toward Change
Module 2 of Stepping Out of Social Anxiety encourages gentle experimentation. You don’t have to drop all safety behaviours at once—in fact, gradual change is best. Start by noticing what you do to cope. Do you plan your sentences in advance? Keep your camera off in virtual meetings? Laugh excessively to fill silence?
Try letting go of one small safety behaviour in a low-stakes situation. Perhaps make eye contact for a few seconds longer than usual or allow yourself to speak naturally without rehearsing. Each small success teaches your brain that you can handle anxiety—and that confidence grows from experience, not avoidance.
Building Confidence Through Practice
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective ways to address social anxiety. A therapist can help you identify your personal safety behaviours, test out gradual exposure exercises, and build healthier coping strategies.
At Reflections Therapy in Markham, our therapists use evidence-based CBT techniques to help clients reduce social anxiety and improve confidence in daily life. Progress comes through consistent practice, compassion, and curiosity about your experiences.
🌿 Conclusion
Stepping out of social anxiety isn’t about becoming fearless—it’s about learning that you can feel anxious and still show up as yourself. By slowly reducing safety behaviours, you create opportunities to discover your real strengths and connect with others more authentically.
Every time you resist the urge to hide behind a “safety net,” you send a powerful message to your mind: I can handle this. With time, these small moments add up to genuine confidence and freedom.
📍 Looking for Social Anxiety Treatment in Markham?
If you notice that safety behaviours are limiting your relationships or goals, you don’t have to face it alone. Our team offers CBT for social anxiety both in-person in Markham and online across Ontario. Together, we’ll help you build comfort, connection, and confidence—one small step at a time.
Contact Reflections Therapy in Markham today to learn more about our psychotherapy services for social anxiety.
Citation:
Centre for Clinical Interventions (CCI). (n.d.). Stepping Out of Social Anxiety, Module 2: Overcoming Safety Behaviours.
Comments