What Emotional Dysregulation Looks Like in Kids—And How to Help
- Divya Somalingam
- 8 hours ago
- 5 min read
Many children face problems with their emotions. They may have a hard time staying calm and controlling how they feel. Small problems, like not getting what they want or changes in plans, can make them very upset. Their moods can change quickly, and they may go from happy to angry in just a few minutes. Some kids lose their temper easily and get frustrated over little things. They might not have much patience and can act without thinking. This can make them seem irritable or grumpy most of the time.
There are also signs that show when a child is having trouble with their emotions. One sign is having very strong feelings that are hard to control. Some kids may find it hard to make decisions or may act quickly without thinking. Others may not understand their feelings very well or avoid thinking about hard or sad emotions. These kids might also struggle to manage their actions and do things they later regret. All of these are signs of emotional dysregulation, which means having trouble handling emotions in a healthy way.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Activities
There are many enjoyable and helpful activities that can support kids ages 8–12 with their emotions. These activities work best when done with an adult, like a parent, teacher, or counselor, who can join in, listen, and help guide the child. One great activity is the emotions wheel, where kids match different feelings with colours that make sense to them. For example, they might use blue for sadness, red for angry, or yellow for happy. They can draw and color their own wheel to show how they feel during different times of the day or in different situations. This helps kids understand that all feelings are okay, it’s what we do with them that matters. The emotions wheel also makes it easier for kids to talk about their feelings, especially if they have trouble finding the right words. It gives them a simple and creative way to show others how they’re feeling inside, which can help adults know how to support them better. Over time, this activity builds emotional awareness and helps kids feel more confident expressing themselves.
Another activity is the mood meter, where kids answer questions to help them understand their emotions better. For example, they might ask themselves, “What feeling am I having?” or “What color does this feeling remind me of?” They can then colour in their emotions, which makes big feelings easier to handle.
Self-regulation scenario cards are another great tool. When kids feel really upset, they can spin a wheel they made earlier with fun, calming ideas on it. The wheel might land on things like blowing bubbles, clapping to their heartbeat, or even singing a silly song. These activities help them calm down and feel more in control.
Calming colouring pages are simple but powerful. Kids can choose and colour different pictures that match how they feel. This provides them a quiet way to express emotions.
Lastly, a feelings thermometer can help kids notice the early signs of strong emotions by further associating feelings to colours. For example, if their heart beats faster or they start feeling hot, they might be reaching the “red zone,” which means they’re close to getting very angry. Figuring out these signs can help children recognize when their emotions are beginning to take over, and learn to step away when needed.
These activities help kids learn more about their emotions, calm down when they’re upset, and feel more confident in handling big feelings. When children can name their feelings and understand what’s going on inside them, it becomes easier to know what to do next. They learn that it’s okay to have strong emotions and that there are healthy ways to deal with them. Over time, these skills can help kids feel happier, safer, and more in control of their actions. They might do better at school, have fewer fights with friends or family, and feel proud of themselves for solving problems on their own. These activities also build trust with adults, who can guide and support kids while they learn and grow. Altogether, they help children become stronger, more caring, and ready to face everyday challenges with confidence.
How to Help
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT, is a kind of talk therapy that helps kids understand and manage their emotions better. It teaches them new ways to deal with tough feelings and challenges. CBT activities are made to help children learn how to stay calm, feel more in control, and use their own special strengths and personality to feel better about themselves.
During CBT, kids get to talk about their thoughts and feelings in a safe and supportive space. They learn how to understand what they’re feeling and why, and they also practice ways to think more positively. These skills can help them feel more confident, become more aware of their emotions, and grow in healthy ways. CBT gives children lifelong skills they can utilize not just now, but for the rest of their lives.
CBT also includes engaging and hands-on activities that make learning easier and more enjoyable. For example, kids might use worksheets, draw their thoughts, act out situations, or play games that help them practice new skills. These activities help children see how their thoughts, feelings, and actions are connected. When they understand this, they can make better choices and feel more in control. Over time, CBT can help kids worry less, feel less sad or angry, and handle stress in a healthy way. It gives them tools they can keep using at school, at home, and with friends.
Learning to understand and manage emotions is an important part of growing up. Many kids face challenges like mood swings, frustration, and acting on impulse. These big feelings can be hard to deal with, but there are fun and helpful activities—such as emotions wheels, mood meters, and scenario cards—that can make a big difference. These tools help kids slow down, notice how they’re feeling, and find healthy ways to respond.
Psychotherapy, especially Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), can also be a powerful way to support emotional growth. It gives kids a safe place to talk about their feelings and teaches them skills to handle tough moments with confidence. With the help of caring adults and the right tools, children can learn to channel their unique strengths in feeling calmer, more in control, and more positive about life.
We must recognize that emotional wellbeing is just as important as physical health. By practicing these skills and getting support when needed, kids can build strong, healthy minds that will help them now and in the future!
References
Torphy, J. (2024). Self-regulation for kids 8–12: Engaging CBT activities and games to help kids cope with anger, stress and other strong emotions [Paperback].
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