Stepping Out of Social Anxiety – Understanding and Reducing Safety Behaviours
- Chris Zhang
- 16 minutes ago
- 2 min read
When social anxiety takes hold, it’s easy to rely on little habits that make situations feel safer — avoiding eye contact, over-preparing what to say, or staying quiet so you don’t “mess up.” These coping strategies, called safety behaviours, can make you feel protected in the moment. But in the long run, they actually keep anxiety alive by preventing you from learning that you can handle social situations on your own.
🌱 1. What Are Safety Behaviours?
Safety behaviours are actions or mental habits we use to reduce anxiety or prevent feared outcomes. They can be subtle or obvious, but they all have the same goal — to avoid discomfort. Common examples include:
Rehearsing what to say repeatedly before speaking
Avoiding eye contact or speaking very quietly
Using your phone as a “shield” in social settings
Sticking close to one safe person at events
Overanalyzing how you came across after conversations
While they may bring relief for a few moments, these behaviours also send your brain the message that social situations are dangerous and that you need protection.
🧭 2. How Safety Behaviours Keep Anxiety Going
When you use a safety behaviour and things go well, it’s easy to credit the behaviour — not yourself. For example: You give a presentation while staring at your notes instead of the audience, and it goes fine. Your mind might think, “It only worked because I didn’t look up,” rather than, “I managed that because I can handle it. ”This cycle prevents genuine learning and reinforces the belief that you’re only safe when you avoid, control, or hide. Over time, it can make social situations feel even more intimidating.
💬 3. Letting Go Gradually
The goal isn’t to eliminate safety behaviours overnight — that would feel overwhelming. Instead, try reducing them gradually, one small step at a time.
Make brief eye contact during a chat.
Speak without over-rehearsing.
Stay a little longer in a conversation, even if it feels uncomfortable. Each small success helps you discover that anxiety fades naturally on its own — and that you are capable of coping without those “safety nets.”
🌤️ Stepping Forward
True confidence grows not from avoiding fear, but from learning you can face it. Letting go of safety behaviours allows you to build authentic social comfort — one experience at a time. The more you show up as yourself, the less control anxiety has over you.
Citation:
Centre for Clinical Interventions (CCI). Stepping Out of Social Anxiety: Safety Behaviours. Perth, Western Australia: CCI, Department of Health WA.
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